Obviously, it is a very complex term. Families have overwhelming abilities to generate emotions, comfort, confusion and unwavering love. The most entertaining aspects about modern reality shows are fights and conflicts with spouses, children and siblings (The Kardashian's show, I'm embarrassed to know, thrives on such occasions). Jerry Springer's show about the worst kinds of betrayal and secrets between families is still on the air. Why is it so interesting or familiar to watch feuding families? Why is it normal to have to work so hard to get along with one's family? Unfortunately, family trouble seems to be the norm in modern American society.
Mine has generally been an exception. My family consists of a close-knit amalgamation of personalities, professions, interests and problems. We have lawyers, PhDs, businessmen, pharmacists, scientists, and entrepreneurs in our family. Needless to say, we don't always understand each other - but we love unconditionally as much as we can. We are extremely close and have had, historically, few problems among us. When I say family, I mean more than my immediate family of mom, dad, brother and me. My "family" includes all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, sisters-in-law, and nieces (and soon-to-be nephews). My male cousins are my brothers and I call them as such. We share our worries, defeats, successes and love of drinking (well, most of us). Many of us would vacation together or spend the summers in each others homes. And, as adults, we text, call, chat, and email constantly (again - well, most of us). I believe, as adults, we have generated a healthy admiration and respect for our differences.
Having grow up in this kind of environment, I thoroughly enjoy seeing my family. I find it foreign to think that others cringe at the thought of family dinners and Christmas parties, knowing that this of course happens often. Only in the last few years, when friends have commented on how fortunate I am to have such a tight-knit family, have I come to understand the rarity of a strong family. I'm lucky to think that coming together in times of difficulty is a natural thing. This week, some of my family members were faced with devastating news even though so many of them had worked very hard to prevent it. In that moment, the rest of my family members sent letters, flowers, missed calls, emails, texts and prayers without consulting their calendars or work deadlines. And while the recipients are grateful for this outpouring, it seems to me that this response should be expected by anyone.
I know that there are people who don't have a choice regarding their family situation (parents who've abandoned them or relatives who abuse things), but what of the ones that do? What about the cousins that you don't speak to because they don't live in your town or the aunts you don't visit because you never knew them in your youth? And, what about the relatives you had minor tiffs with (such as - who was Grandma X's favorite) Is it more important to be right than to be supported by loved ones? Why is it that pride often trumps togetherness? I know too many people who have not spoken to their mothers or fathers for 15+ years. And while they may very well have just cause for that - all I can think is - Seriously? What can that much distance possibly prove? What a monumental loss. I'm not asking people to forgive inflicted pain, turn towards mean people or overcome great abuse. I'm just saying that instead of being indifferent towards your distant relatives (who are otherwise pretty normal), take the time to extend a "How the hell are you these days?" once in a while. If they are anything like my family, it's totally worth it.
Any fun family stories to share?
Mine has generally been an exception. My family consists of a close-knit amalgamation of personalities, professions, interests and problems. We have lawyers, PhDs, businessmen, pharmacists, scientists, and entrepreneurs in our family. Needless to say, we don't always understand each other - but we love unconditionally as much as we can. We are extremely close and have had, historically, few problems among us. When I say family, I mean more than my immediate family of mom, dad, brother and me. My "family" includes all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, sisters-in-law, and nieces (and soon-to-be nephews). My male cousins are my brothers and I call them as such. We share our worries, defeats, successes and love of drinking (well, most of us). Many of us would vacation together or spend the summers in each others homes. And, as adults, we text, call, chat, and email constantly (again - well, most of us). I believe, as adults, we have generated a healthy admiration and respect for our differences.
Having grow up in this kind of environment, I thoroughly enjoy seeing my family. I find it foreign to think that others cringe at the thought of family dinners and Christmas parties, knowing that this of course happens often. Only in the last few years, when friends have commented on how fortunate I am to have such a tight-knit family, have I come to understand the rarity of a strong family. I'm lucky to think that coming together in times of difficulty is a natural thing. This week, some of my family members were faced with devastating news even though so many of them had worked very hard to prevent it. In that moment, the rest of my family members sent letters, flowers, missed calls, emails, texts and prayers without consulting their calendars or work deadlines. And while the recipients are grateful for this outpouring, it seems to me that this response should be expected by anyone.
I know that there are people who don't have a choice regarding their family situation (parents who've abandoned them or relatives who abuse things), but what of the ones that do? What about the cousins that you don't speak to because they don't live in your town or the aunts you don't visit because you never knew them in your youth? And, what about the relatives you had minor tiffs with (such as - who was Grandma X's favorite) Is it more important to be right than to be supported by loved ones? Why is it that pride often trumps togetherness? I know too many people who have not spoken to their mothers or fathers for 15+ years. And while they may very well have just cause for that - all I can think is - Seriously? What can that much distance possibly prove? What a monumental loss. I'm not asking people to forgive inflicted pain, turn towards mean people or overcome great abuse. I'm just saying that instead of being indifferent towards your distant relatives (who are otherwise pretty normal), take the time to extend a "How the hell are you these days?" once in a while. If they are anything like my family, it's totally worth it.
Any fun family stories to share?
